While driving this morning, I noticed some road kill on the highway. It’s not unusual to see a splattered raccoon on the road, but I realized this raccoon had webbed feet. What I thought was a raccoon was actually a duck. While my story has nothing to do with a duck or a raccoon for that matter, for some reason it made me think of this.
Many many years ago, my 2 females cousins lived with my father and I. They had 2 parakeets and I don’t think I ever knew their names so there’s no point in trying to remember now. For story sake, I’ll just call one Green and the other Blue since those were their colors. Creative naming, I know. One day we were gathered in the living room and I was trying to explain something to my cousin. Now for some reason Green decided to continuously chirp every time I spoke. I thought it was just coincidence, but I realized his or her smart-ass was doing it intentionally. Green had its wings clipped and couldn’t fly around so letting him out the cage was never a problem. He could really only hop around. Since he kept messing with me I took off my slipper (no I didn’t smack him with it, what is wrong with you?) and playfully waved the sandal at him.
This little parakeet had a Napoleon complex I tell you. You would think it would run away, but no he just hopped around, wings at his side as if he was trying to punk me. I don’t speak bird chirp, but if I had to guess I would say he was probably saying something along the lines of “You won’t hit me with that sandal….ooooo I wish you would sucker, I wish you would!” Eventually I got tired of bugging him so I just left him alone and returned to my seat in front of the PC. Perhaps you know how, but I can’t tell the difference between a boy and girl parakeet. After what happened next, I realized maybe Green is a girl, Blue is a boy and they are lovebirds, no pun intended.
Unlike Green, Blue’s wings aren’t clipped so he can fly. After I bugged his pal, lover what have you, he flew up to the top of the curtains over the window. It was about 8 ft away on my right. You ever get that feeling that someone is just staring at you and won’t turn away? Well that’s how I felt. I turn around and there’s Blue just staring at me. I watched him take two steps to the left, then one step to the right. I thought to myself, hmmmm.. if I didn’t know any better the parakeet is lining me up. But why?
Would you believe this summabitch dove from the curtain like a fighter jet and came straight at my head? I bet you are thinking he made contact. Not happening! I ducked and he flew into the wall head first. It was like a cartoon, not only did I hear it, but I saw the comic dialog box that said THUD!!! It was funny, so I laughed. He was ok though, he got up and shook it off. I thought it was just all a big coincidence. Would you believe this psycho flew back up to the curtain, took two steps to left, one step to the right and lined me up again? I said no, he’s not gonna try it… Before I finished my thought, the fighter pilot wannabe parakeet dove off the curtain and came for my head again. If you’re hoping he hit me this time, you aren’t a nice person.Again, not happening! I ducked once more and he went right into the wall again. THUD!!! Being the bigger man, I just walked away after that.
Moral of this story: Human or parakeet, never mess with a man’s boo. He will defend her at all costs.