Unofficial Gym Rule

After four short weeks I finally returned to the gym. Two weeks of injury recovery and two weeks of procrastinating. Feels good to be back, but I was quickly reminded of the things I can not stand.

I’m glad that people are taking initiative and getting themselves to the gym, working out, getting healthy and all that good stuff. I’m also happy that some men are comfortable with their body and sexuality, good for you. I am not, however, happy about these men walking around the gym locker room naked. Although you are comfortable with yourselves, sirs please understand that the rest of the general public may not be. I recognize you did this in high school and although equally awkward if you ask me, it’s just not the same thing anymore.

For starters high school was 30 years ago, you certainly don’t look the same. The only thing worse than seeing a naked man is seeing an old naked man. My eyes just aren’t built to handle it.  I’m forced to walk into the locker room with my eyes to the sky and with tunnel vision. Somehow I still get caught off guard. I pay for the membership just like you do, please don’t make me suffer.  It’s illegal to walk in the streets naked, and I feel the same should apply to the locker room. My unofficial gym rule is: Please be kind, don’t make me blind.

As much as that disturbs me I will say it is not as bad as the guy who after taking a shower (he was nice enough to keep the towel on), walked around the urinals barefoot. I will forever be traumatized by that. There are other stuff that bug me too, however, I can live with these things:

  • Excessive Grunting – if you are twice my size and lifting half the weight I can, there is no reason for you to be grunting. None what-so-ever. It forces me to think you are on steroids. Yes – I will judge you, sorry.
  • Not cleaning the bench – if you feel the need to come to the gym with 3 lbs of gunk in your hair, please wipe off the machine when you are done. If that’s too much to ask  at least bring a towel or something and place it down before you deposit your sweat & hair grease. Save it for your couch at home.
  • Stealing machines – Occasionally I feel parched and have to take a trip to the fountain. I intentionally leave behind my gloves, keys, and workout journal. Yet every once in a while there’s that person who decides to take the machine. Then when I return, with a surprised look the culprit asks “Oh, were you still using this?” Really, do I need to leave note? Oh perhaps a sign with flashing lights?

-Vic Louis



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3 responses to “Unofficial Gym Rule

  1. bubblez410

    Oh the wonderful experiences at the gym! Might I add another rule, if you are gonna answer your phone at the gym, there is no need to be yelling and have everyone hear your conversation, especially if you are the person next to me…that gets very annoying.

  2. Simplicity

    Loved it! So true… I thought it was just me upset about the nudity. The sweat on gym equipment is one thing that creeps me out

  3. sunkissed404

    Arrgh!! Totally cosign..I love working out, but I’m also work in the health field, so I know what not cleaning the benches in the weight rooms can lead to…Staph infections!! Hate it!

    Stealing machines tho?? lol Dang…You need to go and find you an LA Fitness. smh

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