There are thousands and thousands of 35 to 40-year-old men and women roaming this earth. Some are happily married, some are separated and/or in the process of getting divorced, some are not married yet but in fulfilling relationships, and then there are the single people. Out of the single folks, some are single and loving it, some are considering switching teams, and the rest are frantically searching for someone to settle down with. Even if that person isn’t the best choice. For that desperate percentage of people, I feel it is my civic duty to give advice on what you should stay away from.
The popularity of online dating has been increasing over the years. While it’s not for me, hundreds or even thousands have found love this way. Some people stay away from this in fear they will end up with a serial killer. It’s possible, but realistically you could be the next victim for the sweet person you met at the super market. I wouldn’t worry about that too much, but here’s what I’d look out before you profess your love. Your online lover-to-be sends you a picture of them self. A part of you thinks the picture looks familiar, but you dismiss it in the pursuit of love. You plan to meet the person and before you get there you finally realize the picture was of a C-rated actor/actress that most people wouldn’t recognize. You’re already so you go through with it. It’s in a public area so what’s the worst that could happen? Well, when you reach your destination you find Gollum or Medusa waiting you.
The married one
You are fully aware the person is married. Yes, I’m sure he/she told you that they’ll be leaving their spouse for you. I’m sure somewhere out there this has truly worked out, but haven’t you seen the movie The Family That Preys ? I’m sorry, but the odds are against you. Especially when there are obvious signs such as you can only meet at hotels and you can only call at a certain time. If you believe these lies that you’re being fed then I have room at the White House I’m renting out. Serious inquiries only. Send to firstname.lastname@example.org
Your friend’s ex
This one might just apply to me because I’m an over-thinker. I go way too deep into thought about all situations. That being said, I advise staying away from falling into a relationship with your close friend’s ex. If you put me in room with a girl I had sex with and her new boo this is what goes through my head.
I had sex with your girl. Hmm… I wonder if he knows. I should probably wipe this smirk of my face just in case he does. He may plot to stab me later. I wonder if this is uncomfortable for him. Ah well, I find it comical.
I don’t really want to be on the other end of that . That really does go through my head, but it’s more of joke than anything. All jokes aside, for most people it’s usually an uncomfortable situation to be around exes and your current lover. I can only imagine how awkward it is if the ex is your friend. On top of that after a few drinks people say weird things. How would you handle this conversation?
“Yo son, did she do that trick for you yet?” the friend asks.
“Uh, what trick?” you curiously reply.
“The one with handcuffs, ice cubes, and the cat.”
“…but she told me that was the first time she did it, how’d you know?”
“Naw man, after we were together for a year she did it every Sunday.”
Then you think to yourself. Damn… that was a Sunday.
– Vic Louis