Is the Plane Out of Fuel?

Image by GoGap via Flickr

Everyone wants to go skydiving lately. I’ve been asked by several people over the past year and they seem shocked that I say no. Why?
I’m not in the military. I’m not a paratrooper. I’m not going behind enemy lines and the only way in is to jump out of a plane. All of a sudden everyone in my age group wants to do this. Are you all having a pre-midlife crisis? Are you doing it for a rush? For excitement? My life has enough excitement. Every morning when I walk outside my house I wonder if I will find my car sitting on 2 (not even 4) cinder blocks with no wheels – again. When I hear sirens I wonder if I will get pulled over. Then I wonder if I will get shot because supposedly my cell phone resembled an assault rifle. That’s all the rush I need to jump-start my day. In addition, why would I pay money to jump out of a perfectly good plane?

A couple of days ago a friend of mine told me I should go sky diving, then blog about the experience. No sir, I will not. However, I will blog about why I refuse to do  it.

Have you ever waited in line and the person behind you is just a little too close?  So close you can feel & hear them breathing? So close they make contact with you? No? Well it happens to me and annoys the sh*t out of me. With that in mind, so now you expect me to get on a plane and have some random smiley guy with sunglasses strap himself behind me? Hell no.

Maybe about 2 years ago I stopped by an old co-worker’s house. She told me she went sky diving and asked if I wanted to watch the video. I said sure.  While she was popping the dvd in the player, she went on about how exhilarating it was and everyone should try it. She hit play and I watched. You know what it looked like? It looked like someone with chapped lips falling from the sky with a smiley guy wearing sunglasses strapped to her back. Whoopty Doo!

Lastly, the most obvious. Because I don’t want my mother’s only son to die before his time! Not that way at least. Yea sure, there’s a one in a million chance of me dying in a sky diving accident, that’s nice. However, there’s a one in a million chance of someone winning the lottery, yet someone wins right?

– Vic Louis