The Price Tag on Engagement

They say diamonds are forever and I suppose they technically are. Just as I suppose they can be lost forever. $18,000 down the drain for a tangible symbol of ever lasting love. Bullsh*t. Pardon my french, but the hype behind putting a hefty deposit for a house towards an engagement ring frustrates me. I’m not frustrated because I’m in that predicament, but just because I hear it all the time. Why such a heavy price tag? Does it have some profound meaning? Or is it another sacred thing that society has commercialized? You are entitled to your own opinion of course, but here’s what I think.

It’s ridiculous, that’s what I think. What is the engagement ring really about these days? Is it to show how much a man loves you or is it to show how much money he has? Does a man get certain privileges if he spends $18k on a ring versus $8k? Does it give him a pass to be a terrible husband? I don’t know the business of too many married people, so my next comment is purely from what I’ve seen in movies and the lives of celebrities. Usually the women with these high-end engagement rings get treated poorly or aren’t appreciated. Some even get beat and afterward rub that expensive ring because that’s all they have. Again I know movies are fictitious, however, even some fiction is based on reality.

Sure there are some who can afford to buy $18k engagement based on that “3 months worth of salary” rule. That’s fine and dandy, but who the hell came up with that? Why isn’t it 4 months or just 2 months? Some people really live by that. Why? It’s not a rule, it’s  guideline. If it isn’t a state or federal law, nor did Jesus instruct me to do so then it’s nonsense.

When I was younger I never really looked down at a woman’s fingers to see if she was married since a girl in my age group being married wasn’t likely at the time. Now that I’m older sometimes I do take a peek and say “Oh, she is married.” That being said when it comes time for me to buy my future fiancée an engagement ring, I’m going to buy her something nice and bright so any fool that looks for it will be blinded. Seriously, when the time comes I will buy something nice that I can afford and that she will be more than happy with. I’m not in the business of satisfying society. I’m in the business of satisfying the woman who is of importance.

Once upon a time I dated a girl who told me that her engagement ring could be no less than $15,000. The words that came out my mouth were, “Oh, I see.” The words that went through my head were, “Good thing I don’t plan on marrying you.” Bottom line, if you truly love someone you shouldn’t demand a ring that is $xx,xxx. You should be happy that he loves you enough to buy you a ring, period. Unless I’m just stupid-rich at the time, I hope if my fiancée-to-be is presented with an $18k engagement ring she says, “Thanks, but you better return this ring baby, we got bills to pay!” That’s real in-your-face love if you ask me.

– Vic Louis
p.s.  No, this post was not provoked by any current situation or significant person in my life. It’s just my 28 cents on the matter.

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11 Comments

Filed under Marriage

11 responses to “The Price Tag on Engagement

  1. ESA

    $18K?!?! Really? I neva heard that 3 month rule before..anywho..all that matters to me is the act of your man taking that step to let you know that he wants to be with you forever..yes the nice, bright, shiny ring is an added incentive for showcasing, but at the end of the day, price shouldn’t be what matters. And :sidenote: if the ring alone is $18K, how much is that wedding going to cost?! Sheesh!

    • Lol, yea I was thinking the same about how much the wedding costs if the ring is that much.
      “…price shouldn’t be what matter.” Glad you see it that way.

  2. Inquiring M.

    Yeah, I haven’t heard the 3-month rule either… however I feel men sometimes buy big rings to show-off as well (but that’s for another post I suppose… way to throw the ladies under a bus Vic). I get the whole buying big rings though, they’re meant to be passed down- investments of sorts ie. family heirlooms… Me personally, I’m kinda digging the tatooed ring thing that’s happening.

    • Ok, well if it’s an heirloom I can dig that.

      However, even with that some women (not all) would probably say “I don’t want your dead great-grandmother’s ring. I want my own. And I’m being buried with it thank you.”

      Tattooed ring? That’s new to me. Not sure how I feel about it, but that’s kind of deep. Diamonds tattoos are forever?

    • @ESA & @Inquiring M

      Really, you never heard of the 3 month’s salary rule? Yup unless I’m mistaken the rule is if I make $3k a month, I should be buying a $9k engagement ring.

      Shocked neither of you ever heard of that. Damn… I just made enemies with your future fiance’s. My bad gentlemen.

  3. e

    You know what’s sad? That $18k is on top of the $30k+ that most will pay for their “dream” wedding.

    What is also sad is that nowadays more than half of these marriages end in splits.

    I don’t understand the cost thing myself. A ring is a symbol of the holy sacrament of marriage. It signifies the bond and commitment a man makes with his wife. I think putting a price tag on it defiles the whole thing but that’s just me.

  4. Y

    I would rather have a deposit for an apartment rather then a ring….so sad that people spend so much on weddings and rings. The number one reason for arguments with couples are about money. Spending on a wedding and expensive rings only adds to the stress.

  5. TheBubblyBlackGirl

    The 3-month rule was apart of the branding and ad campaign for DeBeers, “A Diamond is Forever” that began in the early 20th century.

    Honestly, if my future fiance is able to bless me with a $xx,xxx ring, but really, get me a house, the ROI is so much better. 😉

    • Yup. Once people start educating themselves on where these shams originated from they won’t fall for the okie doke anymore. Forget the fancy schmansy ring, I’m looking at the life we’re about to build together. Sure, I want a ring but an 18K that just sounds ridiculous. Sure I want a wedding but I’d def be a destination wedding to weed out the riff raff, they won’t come and the less people that come the better. That is, if I still believed in marriage.

  6. perfectly imperfect

    funny thing while reading this article im thinking of all the other things i could do with that amount of money. I think that as much as i would love to show off a piece of diamond that expensive i think i will be more concerned with the things we cant have because my partner spent 18K on a ring. a nice bling bling ring doesnt have to cost you the down payment of a house and i totally agree a real smart woman would be more concerned with how to set your future up on real assets such as a house or investing that money to pay down debt to be able to get a good loan on a house etc not spend 18K on a piece of diamond that dont mean jack. Also if you cant spend it now a real woman would understand and not to mention that if life together lead you down richer roads then at that point the cheaper diamond from years ago can be upgraded to the 18K or perhaps more if its really that serious to you.

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