Ladies Man

I was sitting at my desk looking around, debating what I should discuss today and my eyes landed on a few pictures of my nephew. It reminded me of a thought that I had the other day. My nephew might turn out to be a ladies man. However, not just any ladies man. A cold and calculating ruthless one. Dare I say, mastermind? He might take your girl if you aren’t careful.

I’ve been taking him with me to get haircuts for the past few years. The place we go to is a barbershop/hair salon/nail salon/tanning studio. Very nice place, but what I’m alluding to is that there are usually female employees and clients there. Not to put you all in one box, but most women like children from what I’ve seen. That being said, he normally gets a lot of attention at the shop. I’ve been studying him, how he reacts to it.

Always playing the shy role. I would sit there and wonder when he would grow out of it, then I realized the boy isn’t shy. He just knows what he is doing. Did his homework, made a plan, executed and stuck to it. This may not work as well when he gets older, but somewhere along the line he figured out that acting shy gets him more attention. He loves it. Guys, don’t leave your girl around him. Blink and before you know it he’ll be sitting on their laps stealing hugs and smiles. Hugs and smiles that you don’t even get anymore. I was walking around with a mini-ladies man. That didn’t bother me, I was proud in fact. Proud until I realized that he has additional intentions. Cold intentions.

A little over two years ago in the presence of my girlfriend-to-be he uttered some shocking words, “Vic has two girlfriends.” Not only that, but he included names. The owner of the first name was my ex-girlfriend and the owner of the second name was by my side. We were surprised, but we were able to laugh it off. It was clear that he was too young to understand my ex was history. Years later, a few weeks ago actually, while walking to the car he gave me a wedgie in front of her. Then he said those words again “Vic has two girlfriends.” This time he had no names when we inquired. After he said that I went into my usual daydreams.

All the pieces started coming together. Kind of like in the movie The Usual Suspects, when the detective stares at the board behind him and everything comes into place (If you haven’t seen Usual Suspects, think Jay-z’s “City is Mine” video).  Finally it hit me. I thought to myself and said, “This kid is a hater.” He’s been plotting against me since day one. I remembered the time we were giving him a ride to grandpa’s and he wanted her to stay and me to leave. And what better way to end a relationship than to say I have two girlfriends? What better way to embarrass someone in front of a girl than to give him a wedgie? Only a cold and calculating, ruthless 7-year-old mastermind would go that far. He’s probably in some sandbox right now, just plotting and waiting for the opportune moment to strike again.

– Vic Louis



Filed under Mini-Me

10 responses to “Ladies Man

  1. Best Buddy

    Hahahahahaha seems like you taught your mini-me a little to well

  2. Inquiring M.

    LOL… Did you really just compare a 7-year-old to Keyser Söze… smh. Uh in that case, he’s a genius… forget your girl he’s bout to make y’all RICH!

  3. this was a cute story, and children absolutely know what they are doing.

  4. Ahem. The modern lady doesn’t like kids. At least no one I know. My mother doesn’t even like kids and she had three. I sure don’t.
    But back to the subject at hand. Spare not the rod uncle. #spankingsareok

  5. Too funny. What would happen if you and your girlfriend went on an outing with your nephew and a young lady friend of his? Who would get the wedgie? Who’d go home with whom?

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