Things Women Get Away With and Why

DROID! Sorry, random, but that’s the sound I woke up to this morning. I thought the end was near. I thought somehow robots managed to break into my room to assassinate me. “DROID!” is stuck in my head and my day is ruined. The sound has raped my brain at least 10 times while writing this paragraph. Forgive me, I’m tired and my mind is 12-year-old mode right now. Anyway, without further ado. There’s plenty more, but here’s a few things women get away with and why.

Cheating
For centuries men have been called dogs because they lie, cheat, steal and kill (that last part was for effect). Men cheat, and women get cheated on. This statement hasn’t been true since before TLC released their first single. After years of research a scientist, we’ll call him Vic Louis I for fun, announced that women do cheat. Just as much as men do in fact. The only difference is that women do not get caught as much because they are better at it. Years later in 2010, Vic Louis I’s love child, Vic Louis II, revealed a different theory. The reason that women do no get caught as much is because men are naive. “Naw, my girl would NEVER cheat on me.” has been foolishly uttered by thousands of men. As a result they ignore simple and obvious clues. Sorry man, hair gel doesn’t look like that.

Speeding
Unless you have never left the realm of your bedroom and stepped into the real world, it’s obvious that most police officers are men. It’s not sexist statement, it’s a fact. Otherwise, wonderful shows like Police Women of Orange County would not exist. Anyway, so a woman gets pulled over by some young cop and she smiles her way out of the ticket. How? It’s simple. The cop is a guy and has some notion that by allowing her to go, he has a small fraction of a chance to have sex with her. Sad, but it’s true.

Cheap Clothes
I was upset the first time I was dragged into a Wet Seal. I was enraged the first time I was dragged into a Forever 21. It was a bad day when I found out a women could buy a complete outfit for $30. It’s cost me $20 to buy a simple t-shirt that will survive 5 road trips through the washing machine. If a man attempted to wear some clothing that costs as low as the things women own, he would not get very far in the dating world. For some reason, women are equipped with a men-clothing detection system.  There’s a movie with a perfect example of this. I want to say it’s from How to be a Player, but I’m not sure that’s right. It’s some movie you’d probably on catch on BET. The scene is at a house party and the woman’s vision turns into a robotic cockpit like the Terminator’s and she is able to analyze a man’s entire wardrobe, piece by piece. They can spot cheap clothing a mile away. Unless it’s completely obvious, men don’t notice these things and/or don’t care.

*Disclaimer* Obviously anything I say in this post or any post does not apply to every man or woman in the world. Therefore if you feel the need to point that out, you are sillier than this disclaimer. Word.

– Vic Louis

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5 Comments

Filed under Women

5 responses to “Things Women Get Away With and Why

  1. Inquiring M.

    Tis true.

    LOL… the movie was Sprung. Paula Jai Parker’s character was sizing up Joe Torry’s (frontin @ss) character… ahhh great reference.

    PS. Nice disclaimer- lol

    • Yes, Sprung! Lol, thanks good movie knowledge you got there. I figured someone would help me out. I don’t know why I was confusing it with How to be a player, because I knew Joe was in the movie. Ah well….

  2. bubblez410

    Funny that you mentioned the last catergory as being ‘cheap clothes’. Not too long ago one of my friend’s and I had the same discussion on how women can make an oufit out of nothing and make it look stylish! LOL I feel bad but it’s true guys definitely can’t do this as often as we do. 🙂

  3. Willie

    Things woman get away with lol man we need to get are shit together and don’t lat the woman caome over us. See when we get caught and she said she is leaving we get a gun and kill ourself but the woman when they get caught they do there thing and move on .

  4. Lone Ranger

    It is a sad fact that our society does not make women accountable for their actions, at least not very often.

    Studies have shown that America has a serious sex bias in favor of women. Just look at who wins in divorces and who gets away with murder – men get sent to prison, while women get sent to counseling.

    Indeed. Women get away with speeding twice as often as men do, and if they were to commit the same crime as a man, regardless of the offense, it is seen as 40% less offensive…just because a woman did it.

    Women file for 80% of divorces and get the children and a nice fat check 95% of the time, regardless of the circumstances. When a man kills his wife he gets 17 years in prison on average. When a woman kills her husband she gets 9 years on average and that’s assuming she goes to prison at all because a fair number of them get off by claiming abuse or insanity.

    Regarding child abuse, mothers are guilty of it 58% of the time, but not much is ever done about it. It is also known that Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is just a cover-up for at least 33% of the infant fatalities. The culprit is usually dear ol’ mom (again) and it is thought 33% of these deaths, at a minimum, are “post birth abortions”. Again, not much is done about it.

    According to Federal crime statistics, it is also known that 44% of all rape charges are flat-out fraudulent, but rarely does a woman get nailed for filing a false police report.

    It is also known that women instigate most bouts of domestic violence, but then call in the calvary when it gets a little too hot in the kitchen. Women also outdo men in perpetrating bouts of domestic violence by about 3 to 1, but as long as society believes they are “sweet as spice and everything nice….”, they will continue to get away with murder…literally!

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