Can I Buy You a Drink?

I play my part. I will buy the next round of drinks to keep the fun going. Keep the alcohol flowing so everyone can wake up wondering what kind of f*ckery they were involved in last night. I’ll offer my females friends a drink. I’ll buy my lady drinks all night long without her asking. Again, I play my part. Drinks all around for people I know if my pockets are feeling heavy. However, there is one thing I will not do. To the woman standing at the bar whom I’ve never met. I am not buying you a drink. Why should I? I’m not T-Pain.

I was at the bar the other week with my cousin. After refusing to purchase a test tube filled with poison from a busty but unattractive waitress, I went into a reflective state. I looked back into my vault of bar experiences and remembered the time a girl interrupted me at the bar and asked if I wanted to buy her a drink.

“For what?” I replied. By asking for what, I did not mean what would I get in exchange. I meant why the hell would I buy her a drink. I suppose she understood because she looked at me as if I were the foreign matter under an over-used shoe and walked away. My mind quietly called her a skank. My mind did, not me.

Once I snapped back to reality I thought about how there are some women who expect a man to approach them and buy them a drink. I also thought about the men who believe this is a necessity in order to talk to a woman. Why? If an attractive woman was standing in front of me at the grocery, do I have to offer to pay for her soy milk? Nope.

I would blame it on T-Pain, however, this crazy notion has been around longer than him. It’s not his fault, but I’m going to use his song to learn you something. Yes, learn you. Listen to the words:

I’m going to buy you a drink.
I’m going to take you home with me.

Keenan Wayans’s head should have popped up in the video every time they sung the chorus. That just screams MESSAGE! There’s no “hello, how are you?” between those two lines. There’s no question asking if you like to take long walks on the beach. I’m not going to say all, because I can’t put all men in the same box. I will go out on a short limb and say that some men who approach women at a bar and offer to buy them a drink as their second line, probably want to take them home. Not tomorrow, or next week, but tonight. Either that or use it as a bargaining chip and expect to get your number. Like bartering. I give you a drink, you give me digits.

So for any delusional people out there who think a man is cheap because he didn’t offer to buy you a drink after exchanging two words, get over it. A man buying a strange woman a drink is NOT an act of chivalry. Depending on the man, it is an act of generosity, an act of ice-breaking, or it is an act of I-want-to-get-in-your-panties.

I work hard. I have long days and nights that move faster than the DeLorean in Back to the Future. Sh*t, buy ME a drink. Actually, a woman once approached me and offered me a drink. Though flattered I had to decline, however. I envisioned myself waking up the next morning in a cold, wet, and dark alley with nothing but one lonely ankle sock.

– Vic Louis
p.s. No time to proof read, so my apologies for the errors, if any.

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7 Comments

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7 responses to “Can I Buy You a Drink?

  1. Inquiring M.

    I always saw a guy offering to buy a lady a drink as an easy in(to a conversation) however, I do recall one time my cousin and I were at this bar/lounge and as we’re getting ready to pay this guy (who was standing there all along) is like “I got it”, pays for both drinks and looks at us like “just go away” o_O… seriously, we both stood there and looked at each other like did this mofo just buy our drinks and then shooo us away- wtf? We didn’t know if we should say thank you or phuck you! Weirdest sh*t ever. #randomthought

    • Yea, I listed ice-breaking as one of the reasons. That’s fine if that’s your strategy to ease into a convo. Others use words and wit or humor. Can’t hate on that, I just can’t understand why anyone would think it’s a requirement & expect it.

      As for your experience, I am not sure about that one. Maybe he sucks at displaying emotion and his look meant something way different than you interpreted. Angry face = give me your number….? 😛

  2. ESA

    I could NEVER ask a random guy to buy me a drink.. like whoa.. that’s just not a good look to me.. but anyway, whats wrong with a test tube drink? they are mighty similar to syringes filled with poison.. #Iknowwhatyoudid2summersago

    • LMAO
      That was only 2 years ago? Seems like 8. Lol thanks for putting me on blast.
      No, they aren’t similar. The other thing was jello shots I think. Who knows what’s in that test tube!

  3. Perfectly Imperfect

    I find test tubes to be nasty and dirty…. similar to germ infested….yuck

    Independent ladies buy their own drinks or get to the bar half drunk anyway.

  4. Hahaha so don’t ask me for a “dance” aka-grind and rub up on my body. That’s why I only dance w my girlfriends when I go out. Ya’ll ain’t slick.

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