I bet you are wondering what A.M.R. is? I’ll get to that in a moment, but don’t worry it’s not a gang or new drug or something. As I’m sure you are already aware, a lot couples are rushing into marriage these days. Rushing to get married only to get divorced in a couple of years. On the other side of the spectrum you have couples who waited before getting married. Spent years together as husband and wife, then slowly moved apart. They too want to call it quits. They wouldn’t hesitate to sign divorce papers, but it’s so damn expensive. If only there was an easier way.
Oddly enough one of the hardest parts of my job is filling out my annual review. Although I enjoy getting a raise, I dread when that time of year comes around. It’s about 20 questions long. For each question I must rate myself on a scale of 1 to 3, 3 being the highest. I hate having to rate myself. In addition I must write a brief paragraph for each question. Weird because I had to answer fewer questions to get the job in the first place. That’s just the self-evaluation. My supervisor has to fill out the same review form, however, that one determines if I stay or get canned. It’s just a long but necessary process to make a long story short. All that said, still haven’t figured out what A.M.R is?
Awhile back I overheard two co-workers discussing the married life. They are two older guys, both married for years now. Although neither of them have any desire to get divorced, they normally share anti-marriage sentiments and attempt to discourage the younger guys from getting married. All in good humor of course. During their chat they proposed something that I found quite comical. Well the proposal was silly, but the fact it came out of the mouths of two 40-year-old was funny.
The Annual Marriage Review
Similar to my job review it’s a series of questions with ratings. You are filling out the review on behalf of your staff, aka spouse. The review is attached to contract. If the review is poor, you are entitled to not resigning the contract and ending the marriage without any divorce fees or drama. Of course your spouse gets to give you a review as well, so no slacking for you either.
The good news is you can walk away clean if the performance is poor. What do you get if the review is great? Well, there are no raises here. You get one more year of happiness with your ball & chain. I know the review/contract thing would never happen, but if you think about it marriage is work in some ways. If you were a boss wouldn’t you want to be able to freely fire your staff for slacking off?
– Vic Louis
p.s. I wonder why some people even bother getting married in a church. Just to follow tradition, parents said so, or society says so? I doubt there’s any religious value behind a lot of marriages these days.