I was originally going to write about things that annoy me. Things ranging from possums to Mars to pedestrians. Unfortunately every morning I endure 15 minutes of city driving to get to the highway. In those 15 minutes I experience a great deal of pain. That pain is caused by pedestrians.
a person who goes or travels on foot; walker.
Because of them, I am now like a trained agent. While driving I carefully scan the sidewalks and the spaces between parked cars just waiting. Just waiting for one of them to carelessly jump out onto the street. If you take to the time to think about it there are several kinds of pedestrians. I will list them for you:
You’ve seen them. Casually strolling along with a baby carriage. They look so loving and nurturing. They reach the cross walk then they jump out into the street carriage first. Are they crazy? The day I have to push a baby carriage, I will carry a white flag with me every time. I will use it to surrender and make sure cars see me before risking my child’s life. The other morning I spotted a runner with one of those tricycle type baby carriages. I watched her run out into the street as if her baby carriage was an armored tank, ready to take out any car or human in her way.
I call them the seers because they see me coming. Our eyes meet and everything slows down like a western show down. Like High Noon. My light is green, the pedestrian’s light says “Do Not Walk.” My eyes threaten them, do not do it! My car does not slow, yet at the last second they decide to run out into the middle of the street. Why? Are they testing me? I had a similar experience with a deer once, minus the traffic lights of course. What does that say about intelligence?
The Blind & Deaf
No, not real blind and deaf people, though some pedestrians might as well be. These are the ones that read novels and cross streets without pulling their nose away. Or talk on phones without paying attention. They feel empowered by the cross walk. They believe that because of cross walks they do not have to look both ways. The other day I stopped at a stop sign (go figure) and I waited for this woman to cross the street. I watched her as she almost walked into my car that had been stalled for quite some time. She looked up at me with a surprised look on her face. Omg, how could there possibly be a car there? A car on a street, amazing. That is what her look told me.
Where I’m from, the true definition for pedestrian is:
a recklessly daring person.
– Vic Louis