I was bored the other night so I used my wheel of fortune technique to pick a dvd to watch. I spun my head, rolled my eyes and when life came back into focus I landed on Breakin All the Rules. I didn’t like what I was dealt so I cheated and did a second spin. However, landing on that movie reminded me of one of the rules of breaking up. The rule is not to break up with someone at your own place. I then thought of how I once broke this rule despite the fact I knew not to and afterward my mind was pulled in different directions.
I didn’t need the movie to teach me not to break that rule and I knew not to do it well before it’s release. In my case it wasn’t planned so sometimes it’s necessary to throw the rules out the window. Although I used an array of kind words and tried to sound as sincere as possible, it was still pretty cold since it came out of no where. Well to her at least, in my opinion it was more of a shocker than evil-spirited. I too have been dumped out of no where and I turned out okay (least I think so). That scenario also broke one the imaginary rules.
I was dumped via pager voicemail. Yes a pager, so in other words this happened years ago. Back in high school to be exact. I don’t remember exactly what she said, however, her words were kind and sincere. It was also sudden and completely unexpected, but the words weren’t cold. Maybe even more soothing than my rule-breaking breakup. Both could have been worse, at least they weren’t anything like this email I once sent.
Subject: Baby, I want to fix this..
Now that I have your attention I want you to know that I can not stand you. It pains me to even have to waste my time writing this email. I would do the “right” thing and break up with you in person, but you are not worth it. That and I do not want to look at the dumb facial expression that will crawl its way on your ugly face. I’m really not sure why I stayed with you for so long. Apparently I’m a glutton for punishment. I admit I was simply infatuated with you at first, however, that was before I realized you were crazy and annoying. To be completely honest with you, I think you slipped something in my drink the night we met and have continued to drug me for the past 3 months. You’re a whore. I hate you. It’s over.
p.s. I slept with your sister and we both know she’s kind of dirty. You might want to get yourself checked out.
I’m insulted if you really believe I’d do that. I am a saint (on Sundays & Tuesdays), I would never do something like that. That’s pretty juvenile even if the person deserved it, but in reality it does happen. Fictitious or not, based off that email I do have 3 questions for you:
#1 – People always say it’s cowardly to break up with someone via email, text, and etc. Basically anything other than in person, but is it really for every circumstance? If your relationship is a pebble away from falling through the ice, has been that way for months in fact, and you haven’t spoken or seen each other for quite some time is it really necessary to meet up just to state the obvious?
#2 – I’ve only experienced one juvenile breakup, but it was no where close to that email example. It was only juvenile because it could have been avoided and was a silly argument that involved some expletives. Also at the time both involved parties were juveniles anyways. So, have you ever been the sender or receiver of some crazy breakup email? Don’t be shy about it, sharing is caring (aka America is nosy).
#3 – I you did receive an email like that, would you even bother responding? Or would you be the bigger person?
– Vic Louis