2 Weeks Later

I was flipping through a magazine the other day and I came across a very small section that discussed commitment. Don’t worry this magazine has more articles than pictures in case you were wondering.

When asking a man if he’s ready to commit and he said no, 65% of 443 women said they would back off for now. 21% would press for explanations and 14% would ditch the guy. For the women that actually stuck around, 41% expect to discuss commitment again in 1 to 2 weeks. 21% want to talk about it in 24 hours and I don’t have the rest of the percentage on hand. I immediately had a head on collision with a few thoughts after looking at those numbers.

The first thought was what kind of women were part of this survey?  1-2 weeks, really? That’s ridiculous. If you asked a man if he’s ready to commit on Oct 11th and he said no, what could have possibly changed by Oct 25th, 2 weeks later? Never mind 24 hours later. If it’s about confirming and establishing that your pie is the only one he’s tasting, I get and understand that. The chart didn’t specify which level of commitment we are talking about here, but I’m assuming it was more along of the lines of a titled relationship or marriage. Am I the only one who things that’s a little too soon to bring it up again?

Another thought was that I was once forced into committing. Maybe forced isn’t the right word. Pressured? Maybe, but more so bamboozled. Yea that’s it. I was bamboozled into it because after the conversation I asked myself “Wait, what just happened here?” I remember feeling confused and then I fell asleep. I woke the next morning with her beside me and thought “F*ck, it wasn’t a bad dream.” I’m kidding (somewhat). I didn’t dwell on it much because to me it didn’t change my feelings for her and it wasn’t going to change my lifestyle. All it really did was force me to change my status on Facebook*

Some of you are probably thinking I wasn’t ready to commit because I was enjoying multiple sexual relations and playing the field. Sitting on home base with a catcher’s mit to be exact. Yea? Tsk tsk. Shame on you for thinking that. It had absolutely nothing to do with it. I hope you go to confession this week for judging me. She was the only person I was seeing, talking to, and doing the grown up with. My hesitancy was due to some questionable actions on her part. Actions I wasn’t too fond of.

Although the relationship lasted for quite some time, because committing wasn’t my idea nor a mutual one, I think something was missing. There’s a level of joy when you sit down with someone and pop the relationship defining question. Some people say defining titles such as boy/girlfriend is childish and immature. Say what you want, but I like to be sure everyone is on the same damn page. Leaves less room for error and confusion. This is almost going off topic, but a question for those same people. If defining a title is immature then why do you introduce your other half as your <insert gender here>friend? Anyways, besides the warm fuzzy feeling, there were no dates to be celebrated. I have no recollection of when the official relationship even started, I just know when it ended.

Bottom line you shouldn’t force or pressure someone into commitment. Whether it be a male, female, unknown, sexually altered, or Miss Piggy and Kermit. Maybe it’s just me, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable being with someone who I forced to commit to me. Some things aren’t meant to be rushed.

– Vic Louis

* This morning on the radio a guy called in and said he proposed to his girlfriend. She said yes and all that good stuff, however, after she saw the ring the first words out of her mouth weren’t how much she loves him or how beautiful the ring is. She said, “Now I can change my Facebook status.”   That’s just sad.



Filed under dating, relationships

6 responses to “2 Weeks Later

  1. Inquiring M.

    That is sad… I hope she was joking, about the Facebook thing.

    Anyway, when I was young I never asked a guy our “status”, I always figured it would just evolve into what it was supposed to be… no conversations necessary, and it actually worked out… had two long term relationships off of that mentality. Now that I’m an old fart, I find myself in these useless dialogues about “where we are” that lead to absolutely no where and me like “ugh” and slightly nauseous.

    Dope post shawty! (lol… I saw your little ATL comment)

    • She probably was serious. Facebook runs the world didn’t you know? One time I broke up with a girl and she seemed very upset so I was concerned about her driving home. I texted and called her multiple times to see if she made it safely, but she wouldn’t respond. I figured out she was ok because I signed onto Facebook and noticed she changed her status to single, wish is fine. However, I looked at the timestamp and it was 30mins from when we parted ways. It takes her 30 mins to get home so clearly updating a facebook relationship status is a priority, even if it’s 2am.

  2. Best Buddy

    Hahahaha about the facebook thing

    And no one should definitely be pressured because in the end it will back fire.

  3. bubblez410

    I agree with you on this post, I like using titles because as u mentioned that puts the other person on the same page and then there is less room for un-wanted surprises and no room for assumptions.
    As for being pressured into a title or being pressured into a relationship there is no need for that, when I hear of people giving there significant other ultimatums, that’s just crazy!! Things happen in there own time, what’s the rush and why push people into doing things that they may not be ready for? If you truly want to be with someone then u shouldn’t be pressuring them into anything and that’s the bottom line.

  4. I’m usually the last person to ask about a damn label. And some women need to really stop with this desperation, he said NO!. Roll out or spend the rest of your days suffering and crying yourself to sleep bc you decided to settle for someone who doesn’t want the same things you want. Your choice. My bf actually brought it up and said “when I’m introducing you to my family what do I call you?” I said “You can call me Dash!” rofl he wasn’t amused but that started the communication on that end. I say, do whatever works for you, it’s nobody’s business except you and the other person. Relationships shouldn’t stress you out and pressure=stress. I rebuke both of that.

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