Stalkerish

“I wasn’t stalking, I was being persistent.”  – Bob Nelson  (Jamie Foxx Show)

As you can see I was watching an old episode of the Jamie Foxx show the other night. That line gave me and the possibly fake audience a good laugh. Once the laughter cleared I was able to hear my thoughts.  My thoughts told me that women are confusing. Not all of them of course, but all of them. This is nothing new, but I really started to think about something. With the confusing actions presented by some women, how does a guy know when to stop? How does he know when to stop or keep pushing because he’s close to hitting it big? That was a lottery reference not sexual, pervert.  Unlike our friend Bob here, most men understand the definition of stalking, however, how should they know when to apply persistence or pack up their bags?

I often hear the complaint that guys don’t know when to stop. When to stop talking, when to stop calling, when to stop trying, and etc. With that in mind, some men respond to a woman’s command, “Back off ninja” by backing off. Go figure. They do this as part of a movement called Avoid Being Throat Chopped By Deceptively Quick and Powerful Women. It’s a working title. Then there are other guys, even when things seem hopeless they stay on course. I look at them thinking here are men giving all of us a bad name, but then they end up getting the girl.

In my moments of sobriety while I’m at the club or any place with an alarming number of suspicious characters, I do what I find the most interesting. I people watch. While people watching I tune into channel 1 and watch a guy approach a girl. He gets shot down like a target in Duck Hunt for Nintendo. He walks away with his head high, but self-esteem dragging by his feet. Then I turn to channel 2 and again watch a guy approach a girl. Success, no drama and they live happily ever after in the back of his Honda. Then I tune into channel 3. Again a guy approaches a girl. She tries to throat chop him, but he dodges it at the last second. His kung-fu is strong. He is not deterred and keeps spitting game. Next she tries to knee him in the groin, but he blocks it. This dude is the Bruce Lee of macking, I sh*t you not. Next minute they are dirty dancing and making babies on the dance floor. While I’m picking my jaw off the floor, he seals the deal and gets her number. After years of soul-searching and therapy I end up here, wondering if he truly is Bruce Lee or is the woman in question crazy?

Outside of my example persistence can be applied to a number of situations. It could be persistent on getting a woman’s number, persistent on getting a woman to go out on a date, or even getting a woman to drop her drawers. In any case, I compare the complaints I hear to what I sometimes see work. The persistent and borderline stalkerish guy wins. Then I’m left confused, bewildered, perplexed, and outright mystified. For me, being confused can be compared to having to tinkle. It burns and annoys the hell out of me until I have a resolution. Fortunately my pimp patch was stripped from me some time ago, so I don’t have to figure out the balance. However, maybe in the future I will have to explain this to junior. That and I’m sure some male inquiring minds would like to know. So ladies, break it down for them because knowing is part of the battle.*

– Vic Louis
* I know that’s not how it goes, but I’m not trying to get sued.

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9 Comments

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9 responses to “Stalkerish

  1. Inquiring M.

    It’s all about confidence… if we can basically cuss you out, spit in your face and set you on fire and it not phase you… you just might be a keeper.

    • See, statements like that are misleading. You basically just gave every confident man an excuse to harass you. “even though I set you on fire, please continue to chase me because you might still have a chance.” Then you will complain that men don’t know when to stop. Wonderful.

  2. Last Name Starr

    A woman knows within the first few seconds of meeting a guy if she is going to sleep with him or at least go out on a date with him. If she relents after he persists then she had already made up her mind but she didn’t want to seem easy. Any guy who is not discouraged when you cuss him out, spit in his face, and set on fire is not a keeper but a man who knows what he wants…..smash and bounce. If you’re going to go through all that, the female I mean, and not just walk away from him then you’re DTF (Down To F**k).

    Side note: A confident man doesn’t give you the chance to say “No” twice, he’s already on to the next one since in his opinion its technically your loss

    • Inquiring M.

      @LNS
      Lol… was this directed @ me? Chile bye with your uptight-self… that was tongue-and-cheek… uh, you’re preaching to the choir hun!

      Anyway, Vic… I don’t know how to answer this DUH- lol… I don’t have this problem *shrug*. Which makes me think… if a woman is having this problem, you know, with telling guys no and they continuing to come after her… I question her tactics or better yet what type of men she’s attracting. The men that approach me understand English very well and even the ones that don’t can pretty much pick-up on what I’m expressing so “I’m not interested” usually works just fine regardless of what games the chick before played.

    • Me likes your sidenote, pretty sharp. I think there are two kinds though. One that will say your loss and wake up with the bestfriend the next morning. The other will ignore the no because he is confident he can change her mind.

  3. Yup. I would like this answered as well. Will all the insane women please answer Vic and I because you’re ruining it for the rest of us women whose ‘no’ actually really means ‘no.’ Thanks in advance.

    • Well they aren’t going to show up if you scare them away first Dash. This reminds me of an angry parent w/ belt in hand waiting for her curfew-skipping child to come home, lol. Glad you think they are insane too.

  4. TheBubblyBlackGirl

    Hmm…
    I’ve had my recent run ins with the “Mr. Persistent” types. And if they’re oblivious to my not so subtle hints that I’m not interested, then I just ignore them.

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