Location: Undisclosed Middle school parking lot
Date/Time: Q3 1995, 15:05
I stood still while my partner convinced the young female operative to cooperate. The cool fall breeze massaged my face as I patiently waited in the school parking lot. I have no idea what words were said, but whatever he said worked. Finally the operative agreed to go along with the mission. I didn’t think he would be able to pull it off, but the force is strong in that one.
Our mission was to infiltrate the adjacent building undetected and make an exchange. It was my first mission like that, however, I did not allow my inexperience to show. We approached the double glass doors and I spotted a single guard in front of computer monitor, watching internet porn most likely. We walked in and immediately caught the guard’s attention. He confidently, perhaps over confidently, told us we weren’t allowed in the building. I pretended to be lost and as soon as he was in range I disabled him with a powerful throat chop. His body dropped faster than a hooker’s panties. We were almost there, but not out of danger yet.
Next we darted down the hallway laced with asphalt gray carpets. I fought hard against the geriatric tear-gas like odor. The bright lights gave me an instant headache. Around the corner was another guard facing the opposite direction. I got ready to sneak up behind to put him in a sleeper hold, but before I had chance a brown-paper-bag covered school book zoomed by my head and took him out. I turned and my full-lipped sidekick winked at me. According to my map we were almost at the destination.
We hastily made our way to the mission location, the men’s bathroom. The guards would wake up soon so we had to make it quick. Without warning the young female operative came at me, full tongue ahead. We sloppily and loudly kissed. It was like a dog licking it’s owner, me being the owner, of course. After I pulled away I glanced in the mirror and there was lipstick in impossible places. Nonetheless, mission complete. That’s how my first french kiss went down, well at least how I remember it.
– Louis, Vic Louis <insert cheap sound effect>
p.s. I wrote this on paper while on the flight to FL. There was an aggressive looking male flight attendant that was all tatted up. You don’t see that every day. People hesitated when he asked if they wanted snacks. They looked uncertain if they should say yes or no, afraid they might answer incorrectly and get shanked or something. I was scared too, so I said “No thank you, kind sir. Have a wonderful day. Kudos on all your tattoos. I’m particular fond of the one on your forearm of a headless woman. The squirting blood and the axe by her feet was a nice touch if you don’t mind me saying.”
Eh… so I exaggerate, only a little bit.