Before I Kick the Bucket

Sand bucket on the beach of Punta del Este, Ur...

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“Yo, yo if I had twenty-four hours to kick the bucket, f*ck it
I’d probably eat some fried chicken and drink a Nantucket.”

Jadakiss verse – 24 Hours to Live. You’re welcome.

Lately I’ve been hearing a lot of people my age talk about their bucket list. I know I often joke around about getting old, but damn. This is a little premature no? I think many of you have been attacked by a pre-mid-life crisis. Even after watching The Bucket List, I didn’t feel any pressure because I’m not even close to Morgan Freeman’s age. I never really thought about what I wanted to do before I died except for the usual things such as  buy a house, get married, have kids and make them do all the chores, role-play with my wife, and win the lotto. With everyone bringing it up like it’s a trending topic on Twitter, I’m forced to think about it.

Publish a novel(s) and submit a screenplay(s).


For the past 10 years I’ve been wanting to sign up for a boxing program. Not necessarily to compete or anything, but just to have the skill and pass it on to my son Marcus. He doesn’t exist yet, but yes I’ve already named him. Anyway, it interests me for some reason. I’d probably try a fight or two just to put what I learned to the test.  Back in 2000 I started a program then got into a bad car accident two weeks later. I wasn’t supposed to do any type of training for a year and I never returned, but promised myself I would. I guess the other reason is because I got into trouble a couple of times in high school for fighting. As a result my mom angrily told me I should have just skipped the school thing and become a boxer. I think a part of me wants to do it just so I can say “Well mom, you told me to do it. I’m just following your suggestions for a change.”

I don’t really care about going to Europe, but everyone else always talks about it and how great it is. Doesn’t really fancy me, I’m more a tropical island kind of guy. I just want to go so I can come back and say “O-m-g, you so have to visit Europe. It’s sooo fabo”. I don’t talk like that of course, but I take pleasure in mocking people who do.

Currently I’m contributing to the stereotype that black people can’t swim. Whatever, I think I more so want to learn because I have a 7-yr-old talking smack because I don’t know how to and he does. Eh… water makes certain body parts wrinkly, I figured I’d wait until I’m old  so no one would notice anyways <shrugs>. I don’t see the rush, I can count on two hands how many times I’ve been to the beach.  Plus, even if I knew how to swim I probably wouldn’t go that far out, I saw the movie Jaws. Once they came out with sequels, it was a wrap for me.

I guess my list is weak at the moment. I’m content with what I’ve done so far in life. I’m sure when I hit 50 or something I’ll add things like skydiving (that’s a lie) and scale an active volcano. What do you want to do before you die? I mean, besides hang out with me.

– Vic Louis
p.s. I really need to learn to stay away from my nephew when he’s sick. That boy’s germs have it out for me. I instantly get sick without fail whenever I go near him.

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14 responses to “Before I Kick the Bucket

  1. skinnyT

    1. Hit all 7 Continents (maybe just 6 since 2 of them are big ice cubes)
    2. Learn to swim (since I want to visit that shark cage…)
    3. Hit the autobaun (driving manual is needed to really enjoy this I guess)
    4. Survive to see the aliens come back :-p (true story)

    • willie

      i guess they say that hell is on earth so i would get right with God first then blow all of my money with my love ones

    • 1. A guy I work with swears he want to move to Antarctica when he retires. Apparently there’s some settlement there. well according to him at least. = crazy
      2. Uh… watch discovery channel. Clearly unlike me, you haven’t seen Jaws!
      3. Ok ok, I might steal this one and add to my list.
      4. I don’t even know where to start. You need Jesus.

  2. willie

    boxing is cool i think you should get in to it because i love to fight but i can not afford the boxing class but i box a lot in the club for free lol

  3. Now that I think about, it’s funny because the things that are on a lot of people’s bucket list, are things that if they go wrong, the person will be kicking the bucket much sooner than expected.

  4. Wouldn’t your “tropical vacations” be a bit more fun once you learn to swim? I don’t get it, how come you Americans don’t know how to swim? I need answers!

    • Well from what I’ve seen West Indian or Caribbean parents, what have you, don’t really make it a priority to teach their American born children to swim. At least my generation of parents (parents are in their mid 60’s now).

      • But immigrant children (well at least that I know) usually go back to their parent’s countries very often, thus learning how to swim while there. At least that’s how I learned.

  5. And are you really gonna name your son Marcus…cuz ummm errr—-never mind…

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