Monthly Archives: December 2010

New Year

Twenty-Eleven, it sounds so futuristic. I was certain we’d be living the Jetsons lifestyle by now. Anyway, with a new year hours away, millions and billions of people are thinking about their new year resolutions. For most people the list will probably include the same shit that was on it last year. I’m not sure how they got started, but for the most part resolutions are blueprints drafted with a pencil on wet toilet paper. They just fall apart easily. Most folks start off strong with their new plan, but it only lasts for a few months. Of course there are the few disciplined and determined achievers who follow through with it. Regardless of which category you fall into, what’s the point of waiting ’til a new year to make a change? If you are serious about something, you won’t push it off until January to execute. Why wait ’til a new year to lose weight? Why wait until a new year to spend your money wisely? Things like that can be started immediately, the very same day the idea crossed your mind in fact. Besides resolutions, New Year day itself means some different things.
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Subtly

I’m often perplexed by the harsh reaction certain women give when men approach them “incorrectly.” I’ve expressed this in countless face-to-face arguments as well as this very blog before you. I hear the same argument every time. Men are so aggressive and can’t take no for an answer. As a result, every man good or bad deserves a cold kick-to-the-groin response, unless of course he approaches said victim with a stack of hundred-dollar bills and mojitos for her and her friends. As the owner of this site, I have certain responsibilities. One of my responsibilities is to save the world, like jury duty it’s my civic obligation. I must inform women that there’s a subtle method to make someone go away. Normally I wouldn’t give out anti-men tips, but this is for the sake of mankind.
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Where’s the Nearest Pawn Shop?

Gold Plated Jewelry

Image via Wikipedia

When I was in high school I shared my locker with one my closest friends. One morning he was waiting for me outside first period class and look terrified. Before I could ask what his issue was, he began to rant about how our locker had been compromised and some stalkerish shit was going on. He was behaving like a character in a teenage horror flick. He told me he opened it up and found dead flowers, old notes, and jewelry in there.  I got to my locker and he wasn’t lying. Inside was everything I had given to my then ex-girlfriend of 2 days. She broke up with me over the weekend due to unconsolidated issues of her own and decided to return everything. The dead flowers were a bit creepy, but fortunately the hallways were laced with trash cans. I collected the jewelry and stared at it wondering what the hell was I going to do with it. Then I had a light-bulb moment, well more like a flashing-sign moment, and the sign read “Jewelry Exchange.” As soon as school let out, my friend and I headed downtown and traded the items in. We walked out with our new bling feeling pretty jiggy I must say. That was a long time ago though, but still I wonder how people handle similar situations.
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