Unless you are someone who has been with your one first love since high school, you most likely have at least one ex, or two, or thirty-six if you get down like that. That being said, I’m sure there was a point where one of the following sentences were asked or stated: “Can we still be friends?” or “I still want to be friends.” Even if it wasn’t directly spoken, the question was probably in the air, unless of course you broke up with your former sweetie pie because he or she stole your credit cards, insulted your mother, slept with your sister, and poisoned your pet turtle. There’s no coming back from poisoning a pet turtle. Anyway, should you be good friends, real friends, with your ex? Or if you think you are friends, are you really? I suppose it depends on your definition of friend. You see, like love the word friend is often used loosely.
If you’re going by one of the many dictionary meanings, then sure a friend is someone you are on good terms with. I’m on good terms with a lot of people, but that’s not saying much. That only means that I don’t have an urge to get my Mortal Kombat on when I see them. If you go by a deeper definition then a friend is someone you trust, care for, hang out with once in a while if not all the time, and keep in touch with. Even if they live out-of-state or you don’t speak to a particular friend often, you know that you’re in their thoughts as they are in yours. To make a long story short, you don’t have to question whether or not they always have your best interest at heart. On the other hand, someone you text or receive a text from once every 3 months only to say things like, “Hi, how are you?” or “Happy Birthday” or “I hope a baby grand piano falls on you,” is that really a friend? That sounds more like an advanced acquaintance. With all this in mind now, do you still call that a friendship? That’s the “are you really?”
As far as the “should you?” goes, I could ramble on about that for a while because there’s so many factors on why you could, couldn’t, should, or shouldn’t be friends with your ex. Were you good friends for a while before that magical day came when your hands rubbed together and you felt a spark? Are you currently in a relationship in which your significant other wouldn’t be too comfortable with you going to see Love Jones 2 with your ex/friend? Did he or she burn you (no I don’t mean with fire)? Was there a deep sexual attraction? Does he or she want you back? Was there closure? Does he or she still have your Trey Songz cd and you want it back? You know, important shit like that. I’m not going to specify which, but the answers to those questions would definitely be a factor.
This is getting too long, so I must stop here and let you think about. One important thing though. Whether it’s feasible or not, there is one golden rule. You don’t go running to your old flame to complain your new one. That’s a no no. It just burns, like Super Mario threw a fireball at you.
That’s my 3.5 pesos on the subject. What say you?
– Vic Louis
p.s. What was the motivation behind this post you ask? Well, I was in the shower free-styling to the Black and Yellow instrumental and I came up with some lyrics that had to do with being friends. I’d share it with you, however, I’m not as lyrically talented as prominent artists such as Soulja Boy and OJ Da Juiceman.
Now I’m hungry, peace out.